Carrie Fisher and her mother Debbie Reynolds were just two of many celebrity deaths that occurred in 2016, and the third and fourth celebrities to die in the past five days, along with Ricky Harris and of course, George Michael, who died on Christmas. At first, I was in disbelief, lust like how I first reacted when I found out Robin Williams had died. My princess Leia was no more, and Debbie was singin' on top of the rain now. Get it? Because she's in Heaven? I was sad, but in the course of five seconds later, my sadness turned into anger. It was all this stupid year's fault! It already claimed a lot, and I mean a LOT of beloved icons this year. 2016 sucked. And it wasn't just the celebrity deaths part that sucked, most of 2016 was a bust, with that stupid election, the most horrible people taking control of the government, gay people getting shot up by a crazy terrorist, lots of stupid movies clogged the silver screen like how shit would clog a toilet pipe, black people getting shot here and there by policemen, and of course, there's the matter of Mr. Trump, who I'l get back to at the end of this post. 2016 is an awful year. Right behind 9/11 and the year the holocaust began, we can now put 2016 right behind. And why, you might ask, was this year so horrible? Well, let uncle Al explain it all to you.
Good things that happened in 2016...
As much as I despise this year, there are many admirable things that happened in it. The handful of good movies we got were really, really good. Disney won big this year with Moana and Zootopia. Deadpool and it's star Ryan Reynolds are nominated for Golden Globes, Captain America 3 and Rogue One proved that Disney can do no wrong with it's acquired material, and we're finally seeing more diversity in the big screen. Over at TV world, Westworld, which I only accidentally got into thanks to my sister, blew my fucking mind by how amazing it was. Adam Ruins Everything is easily one of my favorite TV shows, Scream Queens keeps entertaining the hell out of me, and Supergirl finally pulled it's shit together by moving to the CW and throwing away all that mess from season one, and actually showing us Superman. In other uplifting news, Ebola was eradicated in parts of Africa, The tiger population is finally rising, The Rio Olympics was NOT an utter failure, and amazing young athletes like Simone Biles, Katie Ledecky and my Bae Steele Johnson made their country proud. Cubs won the world series, And Leo FINALLY got that Oscar. But other than that, this year has been utter shit.
Bradgelina is no more.
I found out brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie divorced through Star Magazine, and at first, I didn't believe it. Who would. That magazine, and all the other tabloid magazines just like it, ALWAYS say that Brad and Angelina are getting divorced. But this time, they were actually telling the truth. What. The. Fuck? Bradgelina was the staple of all #relationshipgoals, and now they're broken up? This is awful news...unless you're Jennifer Aniston or Chelsea Handler.
The Movies Sucked.
Aside from a handful of gems, all of 2016's movies was the dirt those gems were buried in. I finally saw Batman V. Superman because it was on TV and I didn't have to pay for it, and it was shit. Suicide Squad? Utter shit. Ghostbusters was okay, but to both the true fans that grew up with it, and that fat losers who lives in their mother's basement that troll the internet, it was a pretty bad movie. Arrival was practically designed in a lab to be the perfect movie, but is completely forgettable compared to greater movies, and don't get me started on Suicide Squad, a movie who's title reflects on how you want to kill yourself after you've sat through this mess. What else sucked? The Video Game movies. The Angry Birds movie? Shit. Warcraft? Shit. Assassin's Creed? Shit. Alice through the looking glass is the crowning achievement of failure for Disney AND Tim Burton, who took a dump on a classic story by making it something it wasn't. Is there anything else I can list? Well, There's not much, but TMNT 2, Legend of Tarzan, Zoolander 2, The Huntsman, Ice Age 5, The Purge election Year, Independence Day 2, 31, The Neon Demon, Cabin Fever and so much more.
That Stupid election.
In the beginning, people thought it was going to be Hillary versus Jeb, a quiet, civilized election where voters acted like people with manners, and Hillary and Jeb presented why they would be great candidates as President. Either way, America could have been fine with these two, But Nope. The election literally threw a bunch of cartoon characters at us, starting off with a kooky old man Who's plans to take from the rich is essentially impossible, a cuban-canadian evangelical nutshell that looked like the Elephant from Inside Out, A Brain surgeon who left his Brain in the Hospital, and that billionaire asshole that's the bad guy in every movie. Jeb and Hillary were still in it, but Jeb was snuffed out faster that an orange asshole lion with tiny paws and a crazy mane catches it's prey, and everyone, Democrat and Republicans alike, spent the entire span of the election demonizing Hillary Clinton, instead of focusing on all the good she's done.
Brex-shit
I don't feel like explaining this one, so here you go.
Who needs Human Decency? Hate is so in this season. It's the new "Jeggings"
When Trump became president, Hate crimes have risen to it's all time high since 9/11. People are vandalizing properties with hateful propaganda. They're sending hateful messages to blacks, muslims, LGBT people, etc. And those same racists and bigots think that they own the country again. Guess what? They don't. They just made themselves easier to identify. And that's coming from a year that was already pretty hateful, with it's whitewashing and Police Brutality and refusal of refugees.
2016: Year of Death
2016 is perhaps the highest year for celebrity deaths compared to previous years. Hell, 2016 started off with the death of David Bowie. And it only got worse with the death of Prince. And on my birthday weekend in June, we got the back-to-back murder of Christina Grimmie and the pulse night club shootings, that killed roughly 50 people, both of which happened in the same city. And recently, we got the death of George Michael(Who died on Christmas), Carrie Fisher and her mother, Debbie Reynolds, one of the last great actresses of old Hollywood. 2016 also included the death of, but not limited to, Nancy Reagan, Anton Yelchin, Alan Rickman, Miss Cleo, Gene Wilder, Antonin Scalia, Muhammad Ali, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Harper Lee and Florence Henderson.
TRUMP and his Basket of Deplorables
Everyone knows that Donald Trump is awful, and will make a terrible President. He hates Muslims and wants to waste taxpayer dollars on building a border wall, because let's face it, Mexico will NEVER pay for that stupid shit. But at this point, It's not Trump I'm worried about. It's the people backing him. For his VP, he has Mike Pence, a scary homophobe who allowed gay discrimination in his state of Indiana, and will probably try to do the same for the rest of the country. And then there's the matter of his cabinet picks, which is chock full of bigots and deplorables. Tell me Trump, if you're such an ally to gays, then why are your cabinet picks mostly anti-gay? And now that Trump is President, crazy conservative fanatics who likes forcing their beliefs down people's throats will have the upper hand against progressive, open-minded people. You know that vision of a brighter future where Cars fly, cancer is curable, Hover-boards exist and people living in Mars? You can forget that! Now the future consists of bible thumpers, factories polluting the air, and millions of poor Americans whose jobs were all outsourced to china. So congratulations, Trump. You've made America great again...for the billionaires, racists and nutty zealots who thinks that everything is a sin.
