Friday, December 25, 2015

Worst Movies of 2015

Oh, 2015. What a year you were. You made us Laugh, you made us cry, you made us want to kill ourselves, and you made us do a lot of other stuff. But movie wise, 2015 was a whole lot better than 2014 was. But that's not to say that there weren't any rotten fruits who were ignorantly dumped in the wicker basket that is cinema. So before we dwell into the positive side, let us first get the black gunk of toxic waste out of the way. Here are the worst movies of 2015. 

10. The Good Dinosaur


I'm not saying this movie is essentially bad. But compared to the other Pixar movies, this one is one of the weakest. It purely relies on Pixar Tropes (Phoning in a message, relying mostly on crying scenes) It's unoriginal and very predictable. But it's safe to say it's the least worst movie of 2015.

9. Pan


There were two Fairy tale adaptation films that came out in 2015. One of them was actually good...this isn't it. Pan is the lamest, blandest and most uninspired Fairy tale re-imagining I'v ever seen, and I've seen both Jack the Giant Slayer and Red Riding Hood. And also, casting Rooney Mara as Tiger Lily was probably one of the major reasons this movie failed the way it did. 

8. Fifty Shades Of Grey


Is this movie the worst thing that ever happened in 2015? No. Is it the most boring? Yes. For a movie that promised a ton of sexy scenes, this movie is mostly compiled of unconvincing romance building, domestic violence and boring contract talk. But it's not the worst thing ever. 

7. The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water



As a Spongebob fan, I can't believe I hated this movie. I've seen the first Spongebob movie, and most of us Spongebob fans loved it. The sequel, however, I can't say the same about. If the original Spongebob movie reflected how good Spongebob Squarepants was then, this movie reflects how bad Spongebob got today. This movie didn't really have a stable story. It's full of pointless celebrity cameos, and the part where Spongebob and pals become CGI when they enter the surface world was very pointless and came out of nowhere, and only exists to remind you that movies like Smurfs and Fat Albert exist.

6. Minions



This movie does not deserve to be #2 highest grossing animated film. It doesn't deserve to be behind Frozen, and does not deserve to be on top of Toy Story 3. Minions are fine as comic relief for the better Despicable Me movies, but give them their own movie, and you get nothing but crap, crap and crap.  

5. Entourage


Everyone hates douchy, self entitled white guys, so a movie about douchy, self entitled white guys probably get the same feel. I did not like the show, and I do not like the movie. And that's all I have to say!

4. Pixels



It's bad enough Adam Sandler killed comedy, but now he had to ruin many people's childhoods (Not mine. I didn't grow up with those video games) Pixels is just as bland and stupid as most Adam Sandler movies, except this time, it's trying to pander out to video game nerds. Not even Ashley Benson could save this movie.

3. Jupiter Ascending



This movie is just...Bad. There's no way I could explain it, so I'll let someone else do it.

2. Fantastic 4


The biggest let down of 2015. Fantastic 4 was hyping itself to be something special, but the end product was only a fraction of what it promised to deliver. Not even casting a black actor as a typically white character could save this movie from the big ball of fail that is would become.

1. Jurassic World



Imagine this. The year is 2006. You are currently nine years old, heading onto ten. You've seen all three Jurassic Park movies and loved every one of them, including the ones considered to be bad (Sequels) You're obsessed with them, and day and night, you wait for news of Jurassic Park 4. Of course, it never comes, but as the years go by, you get more info, bit by bit. Fast forward to June 13, 2015. Jurassic World premieres in theaters. You've been waiting ten years for this, and to make things better, it's your 18th birthday. Nothing could possibly go wrong...Until you've actually watched the movie, and then you think to yourself. "I waited ten years for that?" Jurassic World not only offends me because it's a clunky, generic sci-fi action flick with forgettable characters, fake looking CGI Dinosaurs and an overrated Chris Pratt, it also offends me because most of my childhood, I waited for this movie. I supported the cause since 2006, and this is the thanks I get? a boring, over hyped movie with only a handful of decent stuff, and one or three cool dinosaur moments. You're probably thinking "You liked the sequels but hated this?", to those people, I say yes, I liked the sequels, because A, they had realistic looking dinosaurs, and B, I grew up with the sequels, so I love them even if they're considered bad. This movie deserves to be on top of this list.

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