He used to look like this.
Now, he looks like this.
Wow. A sexy Hamburglar? Robble Robble indeed. Especially when you consider what most McDonald's customers look like. you know, fat. But since McDonald's is taking a classic character and turning him into a sexy Zorro type, I'm pitching Ideas on which beloved characters and Mascots can get a super sexy makeovers.
Mario
Mario is an obvious choice. He's a plumber and he's Italian! Woman boner city. Population: Your Mom! I mean, Nintendo can recreate Mario and Luigi as sexy Italian plumbers who go to Princess Peach's palace to "Fix her Pipes" You're welcome, Nintendo.
Snap, Crackle & Pop
So here's my commercial pitch. A girl is sitting on a park bench. she pulls a rice krispies out of her purse. she takes a bite, and then suddenly, a Snap, crackle & pop who look like the guys in the picture above, come to her, and serenade her. While their doing that, she continues to eat rice krispies, but when she finishes it, they disappear like magic. She runs to a store, buys another Rice crispy treat, returns to the bench, and takes a bite of the rice krispies, which brings Snap, Crackle & Pop back, and they continue to sing to her. You're welcome, Kellog.
Wendy's
Picture this. three guys are at a bus stop, but then, a hot chick with supermodel legs, red pigtails, a blue and white striped tube dress and blue high heels walk past them. She gives them a seductive look, and the guys immediately follow her. They follow her into a Wendy's, and when she comes face to face with them, she says "Hey, boys. Hungry?" The guys nod, and they all eat burgers, and the tagline shows. "Wendy's. Make lunch time hot." You're welcome, Wendy's.
Jolly green Giant
You know what, he's already pretty sexy, so let's not change anything, okay?
Erin Esurance
She's also pretty sexy, so let's not change anything, either.
Lucky Charms
Just apply the Rice Krispies formula I came up with, and apply it to Lucky Charms. So, my commercial pitch is that a beautiful girl wakes up on a bright sunny morning. She walks into the kitchen, to see a sexy, tall Leprechaun serving Lucky charms on a bowl. He looks at her, and she smiles. the tagline is "Lucky Charms. Because even Lucky needs to share his treasure sometimes" You're welcome, General Mills!
Pop Tarts
Now, Pop tarts don't really have a mascot, so let's make one up, shall we? Just hire a bunch of Victoria's secret models and dress them up like the different flavors of Pop Tarts. And have them dance around to Katy Perry's "California Gurls" It can be like Strawberry Shortcake! Only sluttier! You're welcome, Pop Tarts!
So here's my commercial pitch. A girl is sitting on a park bench. she pulls a rice krispies out of her purse. she takes a bite, and then suddenly, a Snap, crackle & pop who look like the guys in the picture above, come to her, and serenade her. While their doing that, she continues to eat rice krispies, but when she finishes it, they disappear like magic. She runs to a store, buys another Rice crispy treat, returns to the bench, and takes a bite of the rice krispies, which brings Snap, Crackle & Pop back, and they continue to sing to her. You're welcome, Kellog.
Wendy's
Picture this. three guys are at a bus stop, but then, a hot chick with supermodel legs, red pigtails, a blue and white striped tube dress and blue high heels walk past them. She gives them a seductive look, and the guys immediately follow her. They follow her into a Wendy's, and when she comes face to face with them, she says "Hey, boys. Hungry?" The guys nod, and they all eat burgers, and the tagline shows. "Wendy's. Make lunch time hot." You're welcome, Wendy's.
Jolly green Giant
You know what, he's already pretty sexy, so let's not change anything, okay?
Erin Esurance
She's also pretty sexy, so let's not change anything, either.
Lucky Charms
Just apply the Rice Krispies formula I came up with, and apply it to Lucky Charms. So, my commercial pitch is that a beautiful girl wakes up on a bright sunny morning. She walks into the kitchen, to see a sexy, tall Leprechaun serving Lucky charms on a bowl. He looks at her, and she smiles. the tagline is "Lucky Charms. Because even Lucky needs to share his treasure sometimes" You're welcome, General Mills!
Pop Tarts
Now, Pop tarts don't really have a mascot, so let's make one up, shall we? Just hire a bunch of Victoria's secret models and dress them up like the different flavors of Pop Tarts. And have them dance around to Katy Perry's "California Gurls" It can be like Strawberry Shortcake! Only sluttier! You're welcome, Pop Tarts!
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