Say what?! 10 things you didn't know about Hannah Montana

As most of you know, I'm a closeted Hannah Montana fan. I pretend to hate it in public, but I secretly love it. And if you think a lot of people hate Hannah Montana, it's really just people who love it and don't want to admit it. Now, I took the time to dig Hannah Montana out of the grave and ask her about the show, and she gave me a lot of information. here are just ten.

10. "Miley" was originally named "Chloe"

Before Miley Cyrus was cast, the character was named Chloe Stewart. But when Cyrus was casted, they liked her so much, that they renamed her Miley. 

9. Hannah Montana was going to be named "Alexis Texas"

Before Hannah Montana, the teen pop sensation was gonna be named Alexis Texas. Alexis Texas is the name of a porn star...Sweet Niblets! 

8. They glued what to Miley's forehead?!

In order to keep the wig from falling off, they glued the fringe of the wig to Miley's forehead. Yikes!

7. Each episode Title is based on a popular song.

"California Sreamin'" "Killing me softly with his height" "Cheat it" it speaks for itself.

6. prediction of the future. 

In the episode "Yet another side of me" Madonna stand-in tells Hannah she needs to change her image in order to strive. She freaks out about it, and comes up with an edgy "Anti-Hannah" Her friends are against it, and in the end, everybody is shocked by her new image. Sounds a lot like Miley Cyrus' shocking transformation. 

 

5. Aspects of Miley's real life were incorporated into the show.

Miley's from Tennessee, her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus, and her nickname is "Smiley Miley". Her godmother is Dolly Parton. All those things were used in the show.



4. Miley had a fish named Scaly Joel Osment.

A reference to actor Haley Joel Osment, Emily Osment's brother.



3. Several Actresses were considered for Hannah Montana

Some of them are R&B artist JoJo, Future Gossip Girl actress Taylor Momsen, and Jordan Macoy. But the role went to Miley Cyrus, and thank god it did! Can you imagine Taylor Momsen as Hannah Montana?!

2. Jackson is how old?!

In the show, Jackson is only two years older than Miley, In real life, Jason Earls was in his late twenties when he got the job.



1. Hannah Montana was inspired by an episode of That's So Raven

In the episode "Goin' Hollywood", Raven meets a child actress who wears a wig to disguise herself. She later goes to school to try to live a normal life. The creators of the show liked that scenario so much, that they pitched a TV show idea about a teen girl who lives a double life as a Celebrity and a normal girl.

Character Fight All Stars: Hannah Montana vs Jem

So, you want to be a famous singer, but you also want to be a normal person. What do you do? You can A, Get an AI to build you a hologram face, or B, put on a wig and change your voice a bit. Clearly I am talking about two TV  shows. One is still a popular topic years after it ended, and the other faded of into obscurity until a recent movie reboot was announced. I'm talking about Hannah Montana and Jem. I had know Idea what Jem was until I watched the Robot Chicken spoof. And I am a closeted Hannah Montana fan. I pretend to hate it in public, but I secretly love it. I know all the songs, I watched every episode, I saw the movie, I saw the 3D concert, You get the picture. But I decided to educate myself on some Jem and the Holograms, since it would be unfair to not know anything about the other character. So, here it is. Teen Pop sensation, Hannah Montana vs 80's Diva Jem. 

Begin Battle!

Pop Star Beginnings

In Jem, Jericha Benton (That's a name) has the responsibility of looking after Starlight Records after the untimely death of her father. she later finds a computer program under her house called synergy (sounds like a 5 hour energy rip off) Synergy projects a Hologram on Jericha's face, and she takes on the persona of Jem, a pink haired 80's pop star. (Thank god this was a cartoon.)

In Hannah Montana, Miley Stewart(Played by Miley Cyrus) is a normal country girl living on the coast of California. Her best friend Lily(Plated by Emily Osment) buys two tickets to see Hannah Montana, a teen pop Idol, but Miley refuses the other ticket, which makes Lily sad. Lily goes to the concert, and even sneaks into Hannah Montana's dressing room afterwards, but when Lily actually sees Hannah Montana, she makes a shocking Revelation. Hannah Montana, is actually Miley! Turns out Miley had been wearing disguise, because she wants to be a pop star, but at the same time,she also wants to live a normal teenaged life. 

While Hannah Montana does have an ingeniously crazy plot line, Jem is even crazier. A hologram face? where did they get this? Point goes to Jem!

The Star

Jem as an Icon is very outrageous! Jem as a character on the other hand, is very bland and Generic. Miley, on the other hand, plays it over the top, and Over the top is way better than bland. Point goes to Hannah!

Double Life Motivation

In Jem, I had no idea why she needed an alter ego. She's already a rich heiress, so why make up an alter ego? Hannah Montana, on the other hand, was created so that Miley, her true identity, can sing on stage, and live the life of a normal teenaged girl. that's why the theme song is called "Best of Both Worlds" Point goes to Hannah!

Rockin' Villains

Hannah Montana didn't really have villains. Unless you count Selena Gomez's character, Mikayla. Jem, on the other hand,had three villains. their names are Pizzazz, Roxxy and Stormer, and they are...The Misfits! They are the Misfits! They're gonna get her! Point goes to Jem.

The Music

This one is a bit more opinion based. And in My opinion, Hannah Montana had better songs than Jem. "Best of Both Worlds" "Nobody's Perfect" "The Climb" "Rockstar" Hannah Wins!

Co-stars

Jem has her bandmates, who's personalities all mirror hers. and by that, I mean very one dimensional. Miley's co-stars, however, are her Best friends. There's Lily, Miley's skater girl bestie, and Oliver, The nerdy guy friend. Then there's Jackson, Miley's obnoxious older brother, and her dad, Robby Ray. Then there's Roxy, Aunt Dolly, Mammaw, Jake Ryan, Miley's mom and many more. Point goes to Hannah.



And the winner is...

TV's Top Five meanest villains

In TV, you're supposed to root for the hero, but sometimes, we just cheer for the wrong person. Here are my top 5 TV villains. This list is strictly opinion based, so don't get your panties in a twist.

5. Ice King (Adventure Time)

"Do you know what Ice King means?!" Yeah, I know. A total nerd! Ice King is one of those villains that are like "He's a villain, but at the same time, he's not, but he likes to kidnap princesses, but he has a heart of gold." That's why I put him on the bottom of the list, but I still love him, though.

4. Joffrey Baratheon (Game of thrones)

I'll just say I hate him. If I explained why, we'd be here til Christmas. 

3. Gossip Girl (Gossip Girl)

Word on the street is that Gossip Girl is a Biyotch. and guess what? It's true! Gossip Girl has no rights to take the lives of the teen elites of upper Manhattan, and put it in her blog. She should be in jail, but her blog is so popular, that even police officers don't want to arrest her. Total B!

2. Prince Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

THe best season of Avatar was the first one, in my opinion. who the good guys and the bad guys are supposed to be is very clear, they weren't adding a new main character every two seconds, and the best version of Prince Zuko was present. For all y'all fangirls out there, Prince Zuko is better as a semi bald villain than a emo swoopy haired Fangirl service. Zuko stops at nothing to hunt down the Avatar. He follows Aang, Katara & Sokka all the way to the North Pole. 

1. A (Pretty Little Liars)

A is a similar character to Gossip Girl, but instead of gossiping, A's blackmailing and murdering. A is a very prominent character in the show, and yet we've never been officially introduced to him/her/it. A has alot of anger towards the girls (Mostly Alison) He's always one step ahead of everyone, and just when the girls think they finally figured it out, Bam! A finds a way to send them back to square one! In the beginning, A started blackmailing the girls with minor secrets. Now, we have A locking the girls up in a demented dollhouse. 

Pretty Little Liars News: Is Andrew A???

For a show that started out as a girly teen mystery, this show sure is turning darker with each coming Season. In the beginning, A threatened the Liars with small, girly secrets. Now, A is taking foot notes from Hannibal Lecter In the first episode of season 6, the Liars (Plus Mona) are still trapped in A's demented dollhouse. A is angry that they tried to escape, so as punishment, he locked them all out in an outdoor electric fenced prison for days without food and water, Just as Mona had warned them in the last episode. The Liars are still in their "prom" dresses and after days of near starvation, they look awful.

In another sneak peek clip, we have Alison, who is now home after she was considered Innocent in the "murder" of Mona. So a month has passed, and the Liars are still in A's dollhouse?! So Andrew is now a suspect...did not see that coming, and is considered "Dangerous". Sorry, but Andrew the cute nerdy nice guy that I know from the show can't pull off "Dangerous". Ali then talks to the press about her missing besties, and hopes that they are all right. She even goes as far as calling A a "Faceless, Nameless Coward." Careful, Ali. this is the same A who hit you in the head with a rock, Ezra and Caleb are in the crowd, and even Cindy & Mindy are there. What will happen next? Will the Liars escape, or will A get the best of them?  find out when Pretty Little Liars returns this June, on ABC family, because a show about four teenage girls being tormented by a crazy person is so family friendly.

After Moana: What's next for Disney?

So everyone's super exited for Moana, Disney's upcoming Hawaiian Fairy Tale Musical. It's been years since we had a non white Disney Princess, and fans are hyped for this new Polynesian Princess. So disney is finally thinking out of the box with their new feminist princesses (Tangled, Frozen,) and Multi cultural future (Moana). With all this progression, here are some pitch ideas for possible Disney movies.

12 Dancing Princesses

What's better than two Feminist friendly Disney Princesses? Twelve! Disney can tuen the highly sexist 12 Dancing Princesses fairy tale, and turn it into a movie about magic, dancing and female friendships. And, if they do make 12 Princesses, it would be a good opportunity to make a princess of a different shape. 

Swan Lake

Disney was gonna work on a Swan Lake inspired movie back in the 90's, but it was scrapped, and another movie, the Swan Princess, was made, and it was awful. But that doesn't mean Disney can't try again. It took them years to get Tangled into the big screen, and it was a huge success. If they decide to do another Swan Lake it could be to Russia what Frozen is to Norway. And it can also include the classic dances and music from the Ballet. 

Dyesebel

Dyesebel can be a good movie for Disney to make, if they want to continue on their Multi Cultural road. for those who don't know, Dyesebel is a popular Mermaid character in the Philippines. She has human parents, but she was born a mermaid. She later had to live in the sea and live with the Sirena, Filippino equivalent of a mermaid, and Syokoy, Filipino Mermen. Ariel is a very popular Disney Princes, partially because she's a mermaid, and kids love mermaids. SO think what another Mermaid character can do for the Disney Princess line up. Buckets upon buckets of money! that's what!

Pecos Bill, Paul Bunyan, John Henry & Sally Anne Thunder Anne Whirlwind 

Disney has done all types of movies. Fairy Tale, Children's book, Chinese legends, Greek Mythology, but never Tall Tales. Sure, they made shorts about it, and they have Frontierland at Disneyland, but these characters have never had their own movie! How come,Disney?!

Yeh-Shen: A Cinderella Story from China

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Disney already has Cinderella, it doesn't need another one!" True. But the Cinderella story is one of the most famous stories ever. And to here another version of it from another point of view is very intriguing. 

The Princes and the Treasure

It's 2015, Most if not all people are cool with Gays. Why not make a Fairy Tale musical about gay princes. It can be that they have to save a princess, but they hate each other in the beginning, then they become friends, and by the end, they fall in love and end the movie with a magical Fairy Tale kiss. 

After Tomorrowland: What's next?

So Tomorrowland proved a success, with the potential for a sequel, but seeing how Disney's ride based movies have succeeded so far (Pirates, Tomorrowland) What other Disney parks ride & property should be made into a feature film? Here are my picks.

Dinoland USA

This is an obvious pick and is just full of potential. This can be Disney's PG version of Jurassic Park. So the basic in universe back story of Dinoland USA is this. 

"DinoLand U.S.A. originally started as a small highway town where an amateur fossil-hunter found some dinosaur bones in 1947. After contacting some scientist friends, they gathered their money together to purchase the site. Since then, scientist, volunteers and grad students have been living there trying to find answers about dinosaurs. The Dino Institute was founded and opened the site as a "fossil discover park". An old fishing lodge on the property became the Restaurantosaurus. Meanwhile, the Dino Institute discovered how to warp vehicles through time, and thus started doing time tours"

This backstory sounds very Jurassic Park, but there are some things they can do differently. Let's say that Instead of cloning dinosaurs, They either find well preserved Dinosaur inside a solid casing Ala Gravity Falls, or they found a way to time travel, and take Dinosaurs from the past. Or, they could go with the route that Dinosaurs never went extinct, and have been living with man all throughout history. You can have the main characters two kids, and they have a dinosaur Sidekick. Something cute & will sell toys, like a baby triceratops or a baby T rex.

Tomorrowland 2

I already mentioned how much I love Tomorrowland, and I would like to see alot more of that universe. In the sequel, Casey and Frank could possibly go to space. Casey always talked about how much she loved space, it would be fitting to have Casey actually go to space in a sequel. You can even use more rides from Tomorrowland, such as Space Mountain and the Astro Orbiter. And hopefully, they can bring Athena back. 

Adventureland

Adventureland is also a possibility. Disney is already working on a reboot of Indiana Jones, and they could expand the Indiana Jones universe with Adventureland. But if that doesn't work out, they can make their own universe. Pirates of the Caribbean is technically a part of Adventureland. They could just expand the  the pirates Universe into something more. But with movies like John Carter and The Lone Ranger, I don't think that's possible anymore.

The Haunted Mansion

Disney already made a movie for the Haunted Mansion, but that movie sucked, and made everything cool about the ride into tools. But just because one sucky movie ruins it, doesn't mean you can't try again. Haunted Mansion. There is still hope for the Haunted Mansion. Disney can take footnotes from Are you afraid of the dark, and make a horror movie that's both Terrifying, funny & family friendly. 

Frontierland

If Disney chooses to make a movie about the greatest American Tall Tales, It should be set in Frontierland. In fact, I think Disney should take a break from Fairy Tales, and do their own spins on Characters like Paul Bubyan, Sally Ann Thunder Anne Whirlwind and John Henry. 

Well, if you're reading this, Disney,  which I doubt you are, I hope you consider some of these Ideas. 

Tomorrowland Inspires!!!

There are two Wolves that are always fighting. One is darkness and despair, the other is light and hope. Which wolf wins? The one you feed, of course. And after seeing Tomorrowland, I'll make sure to feed the right wolf always! This movie is so good and so inspirational. So, what's the story? A teenage girl finds a pin  that shows her a vision of Tomorrowland, a place where the greatest minds came together and made the world a better place. Unfortunately this said place exists in a different place and time. She get's help from an AI in the form of a child and a shut in inventor to get to Tomorrowland, but when they get there, things not might be as perfect as it seemed, and it's up to her to make things right, and fix the future.

It's good to see a film based on a Disney ride other than Pirates of the Caribbean succeed, because I saw the Haunted Mansion, and it did not please anyone. But unlike the haunted mansion, which relied on cheap gimmicks and a Celebrity main character, this actually taps into what Walt Disney himself envisioned when he created Tomorrowland. Now, before you try to correct me, I know George Clooney is a main character in this movie, but there's a difference between his performance here, and Eddy Murphy's performance in the Haunted Mansion. George Clooney was playing an actual character. Eddy Murphy was basically playing himself. And George Clooney isn't the central character in this movie, It's the teenage girl, who is AWESOME!!! What I like about her is that she captures that hope that humanity has left. I could go on and on and on about why I like this movie, but no. I want you to go see it for yourself. If you like it, great. If not, more power to you. But whatever you feel about it, it will give you some thought on how you can make the future a better place.

Character Fight V: Rapunzel Disney Vs Rapunzel Barbie

Is it possible to fight yourself? Well, in this very special Character Fight, we'll find out. We have Rapunzel Vs Rapunzel!!! One is a kidnapped Princess who likes to paint, and also see the world outside her prison home. The other is a kidnapped Princess who likes to paint, and also see the world outside her prison home...This is gonna be one tough cookie to crack. 

Begin Battle!!!

The Story

Barbie as Rapunzel

Once upon a time, in a distant kingdom, lived a servant girl named Rapunzel, who worked for Dame Gothel, a powerful Enchantress. But when Gothel finds out Rapunzel had been sneaking off to the nearby kingdom to meet a boy, she turns Rapunzel's bedroom into a high tower with no door. For a while, everything seems hopeless, but with the help of a baby dragon, a talking rabbit, and a mysterious paintbrush that appeared out of nowhere, Rapunzel's dream of freedom might just come true, 

Tangled

Once upon a time, There was a magic flower that gives eternal life and youth. A woman named Gothel used this flower to keep herself young for hundreds of years. But things are shaken up when the magic flower is taken by palace guards and given to the pregnant Queen, who was deathly sick. The flower saves the Queen, and the magic of the flower is passed on to the newborn baby, giving her beautiful, golden hair. Her birthday is celebrated, but that celebration is short lived when the infant princess is kidnapped by Gothel, who named the infant baby Rapunzel. Rapunzel was taken to a high tower, where Gothel continued to use Rapunzel's ever growing hair. But as Rapunzel Grew into a feisty teenager, she wanted to leave her tower even more, and with the help of a handsome rogue, her dreams might come true. 

Animal Companions

Tangled has two very likable Animal sidekicks. One is Rapunzel's pet Chameleon, and the other is a police...horse. But over at the Barbie world, Rapunzel has a talking rabbit and a baby dragon. A baby dragon. A. Baby. Dragon. No police horse can top a baby dragon. Point goes to barbie!

Resembling the original story...

Both these stories stray very far from the original story for obvious reasons. you know, Rapunzel get's knocked up and pops out two babies in the dessert. But while one strays far, the other goes even farther away, and that's the barbie version. I mean, in the Barbie movie, the only thing resembling the original is the tower and the hair, and it's not even that long! the witch has to use a dragon to get to the top of the tower, which isn't even a real tower, it's more of a stretched out bedroom. And while Tangled does drift away from the source material, everything a Rapunzel story should have is there. Doorless tower. Long hair. Witch climbs up hair. guy climbs up hair. Point goes to tangled

Personality

Both these ladies are good hearted, but one is spunky, adventurous, clever, smart, feisty, and the other one is kind of bland...Just like a Barbie doll. Point goes to Tangled.

Wardrobe

In Tangled, Rapunzel's fashion choices always seemed flat. That corset and those sleeve puffs? Uh-uh! Not gonna happen! But with Barbie, you know she's gonna be well dressed, and well dressed she was. Her ending Masquerade ball dress looks like a blend of Disney Rapunzel's dress and Cinderella's Ball gown. Point goes to Barbie.

Love Interest

Flynn Rider Rivals Prince Eric, Aladdin and Hercules as Disney's most handsome character. That's right. He's that good looking. But Barbie's love interest looks like a generic Ken doll...Probably because he is. Point goes to Flynn

And the Winner is...

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A Sexy Hamburglar?!?! What's next?

So recently, I had discovered that McDonald's has recreated one of their old Characters, The Hamburglar. Now, all of McDonald's friends have been scrapped some time ago, probably because they were targeted at kid consumers, and if you know what McDonald's does to children, then you know it was  a smart move. But this Hamburglar is not targeted at children. He's for an older demographic now.

He used to look like this. 

Now, he looks like this.

Wow. A sexy Hamburglar? Robble Robble indeed. Especially when you consider what most McDonald's customers look like. you know, fat. But since McDonald's is taking a classic character and turning him into a sexy Zorro type, I'm pitching Ideas on which beloved characters and Mascots can get a super sexy makeovers. 

Mario

Mario is an obvious choice. He's a plumber and he's Italian! Woman boner city. Population: Your Mom! I mean, Nintendo can recreate Mario and Luigi as sexy Italian plumbers who go to Princess Peach's palace to "Fix her Pipes" You're welcome, Nintendo.

Snap, Crackle & Pop



So here's my commercial pitch. A girl is sitting on a park bench. she pulls a rice krispies out of her purse. she takes a bite, and then suddenly, a Snap, crackle & pop who look like the guys in the picture above, come to her, and serenade her.  While their doing that, she continues to eat rice krispies, but when she finishes it, they disappear like magic. She runs to a store, buys another Rice crispy treat, returns to the bench, and takes a bite of the rice krispies, which brings Snap, Crackle & Pop back, and they continue to sing to her. You're welcome, Kellog.

Wendy's



Picture this. three guys are at a bus stop, but then, a hot chick with supermodel legs, red pigtails, a blue and white striped tube dress and blue high heels walk past them. She gives them a seductive look, and the guys immediately follow her. They follow her into a Wendy's, and when she comes face to face with them, she says "Hey, boys. Hungry?" The guys nod, and they all eat burgers, and the tagline shows. "Wendy's. Make lunch time hot." You're welcome, Wendy's.

Jolly green Giant

You know what, he's already pretty sexy, so let's not change anything, okay?


Erin Esurance

She's also pretty sexy, so let's not change anything, either.



Lucky Charms



Just apply the Rice Krispies formula I came up with, and apply it to Lucky Charms. So, my commercial pitch  is that a beautiful girl wakes up on a bright sunny morning. She walks into the kitchen, to see a sexy, tall Leprechaun serving Lucky charms on a bowl.  He looks at her, and she smiles. the tagline is "Lucky Charms. Because even Lucky needs to share his treasure sometimes" You're welcome, General Mills!

Pop Tarts

Now, Pop tarts don't really have a mascot, so let's make one up, shall we? Just hire a bunch of Victoria's secret models and dress them up like the different flavors of Pop Tarts. And have them dance around to Katy Perry's "California Gurls"  It can be like Strawberry Shortcake! Only sluttier! You're welcome, Pop Tarts!